Things Alice Would Never Say

100 (). This is my melody, and it's just a Raver's fantasy, and i know, if you're in love with me tonight, we'll rave right through the night...

Woohoo, we've passed 100! Damn we're good.

101. Now where did I put those handcuffs...

yay us!

102. I see a red door and I want it painted black...

103. The people at the asylum were so kind to me. I really did love it there.

104. Look at me, I'm a little freak!

That made me laugh

105. He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me..Oh sh!t! He doesn't love me!

nice!

106. I've redecorated my room so that it's gothic and emo and fully of posters of Marylin Manson and My Chemical Romance.

Yikes..

107. Jasper, do you want me to use the whip or chains this time?

poor jasper!

108. Sorry to say this Bella, but the voices in my head don't like you. (lol, that would be something Edward would say )

Haha nice one and so true(the Edward part)

109. I wish I could have my period again. It's not fair, Bella gets to have one so why can't I!? *pouts*

I really would question her sanity on that one..

i would too!

110. My life is like one gigantic bad hair day.

Aw, poor Alice..

111. Wow, Jasper looks really hot in that Little Bo Peep outfit..but where are the sheep?

wouldn't she like to know...

112. Stop my breathing and slit my throat
I must be emo
I don't jump around when I go to shows
I must be emo

Alrighty then..

113. I'm busy, you're ugly. Have a nice day. *smiles*

Haha Good one.

114. Jasper, you're the most insensitive person I've ever met. I think I'll go and marry Aro.

115. (as a older woman starts coming onto Jasper, putting her hands on him):

GET YOUR WRINKLY OLD HANDS OFF OF MY MAN MRS. ROBINSON!! BEFORE I GO OVER THERE AND BREAK THEM OFF!!

LOL! I love that one

116. Oh my god... the rain is wet!

Haha, nice.

117. (arguing with a guy at Disney World because he made fun of her for being too short to go on his ride): Oh yeah! I may be too short to ride this ride, but I am NOT too short to kick your as$!! Emmett stop trying to hold me back! Let go, let me at him! Grr..I will get you, just you wait! *makes the 'I've got my eye on you' notion as she's being carried away*

Aggghhh my stomach muscles!!!!! That one was hilarious!

118. (doing a jig on a table in a pub) Ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall *hiccup* ninety nine bottles of..... beer? Take one down, pass it around, sixty seven bottles of blood on the.... the... (passes out)

LOL!! Great one Sam! That would be a kodak moment.

119.(while trying to climb up Jasper wearing a costume. Jasper is also in costume): If anyone asks, I'm Jack and he's the beanstalk.

getting alice drunk now? oh dear...

120. (to bella) go buy me a Monster. i need the energy boost!

Scary..

121. What do you mean I wasn't supose to eat the rabbit? I was just suppose to chase him down a hole? Well where the hell is the fun in that!? Ok ok I'm sorry. I won't do it again, geeze back off already. Take two everyone!

nice!

122. Ahem, "Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was white as snow, and everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go.
It followed her to school one day, though that was against the rules, and all the children laughed and played, and all the vampires drooled.
We chased it through the field and swamp, wishing it would play, but it kept running very fast, 'till it was far away.
Jasper caught it along the way, and ate it by himself, and Emmett pounded him 'cross the head, wishing he'd shared the wealth.
This is the story of Mary's lamb, whose blood was very sweet, and now it is my tale is done, as the lamb no longer bleats." Thank you, thank you!

ook.....?

123. I'm too tired to shop today. Bella, why don't you take Jasper and you two go by yourselves today.

124. i like grapes.