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RogueHEROsaysBEDWARD
Stopping At A Casino With Alice
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Wed Nov 05, 2008 9:42 pm

I like them both! They're very interesting and make me want more of the story. Good job!

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Edward_lover_63801
Debating About the Immortal Soul With Edward
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Thu Nov 06, 2008 4:38 pm

Thank you. :]
I was reading Paul Revere's Ride and I wanted to make something long and poettic.? So I wrote that. :] lol
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RogueHEROsaysBEDWARD
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Number of posts : 3498
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Thu Nov 06, 2008 5:27 pm

Lol I read Paul Revere's Ride for some deal in theater arts way back when... I just remembered that after I was done this kid was like "Nice! That was very... historical..."

It was weird.

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Edward_lover_63801
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Thu Nov 06, 2008 5:48 pm

Haha I bet. :]
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sweetblood
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Sun Nov 09, 2008 8:17 pm

I wrote these a few days ago.....
Let me know what you think. Very Happy

Goth Crush

Color my life black
Bring sexy back
Stack love in the corner
Along with everything else foreign
Send my pleasure sore-ing
While in your company
Getting into this hot and heavy
Take it slow and steady


stupid thoughts and staring at walls

the past
taped up on my walls
call me back
to better times
only memories
carry me threw
as I sit on my bed and stew
over a few complicated issues
that haunt, taunt, and compel
stupid behavior
ask me if I care
tomorrow is something I'll just have to bare
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Edward_lover_63801
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Mon Nov 10, 2008 5:01 pm

Insanity

A dark pathway led to a dark destiny,
She walked it anyways,
She held her head high knowing she was still afraid
The wet, dewy, grass brushed against her calfs.
She kept telling herself not to look back.
She heard footsteps behind her,
Her heart began to accelerate as she sped up her pace.
A root of a tree made her fall to the ground.
She screamed in pain,
then covered her mouth,
willing to make no more sound.
The stranger was above her,
a shadow more like.
His face she couldn't see,
as he asked her if she was alright.
She nodded her head, too scared to speak.
Thats' when he smiled and showed her his teeth.
She gasped as he smiled
then sunk his teeth into the side of her neck.
As he did this there was no more pain.
But she did wonder, 'Is this a dream or have I gone insane?'
As he finished his midnight meal
he lay her back limply on the ground.
Then he vanished into the night,
Not making a sound



By the way SweetBlood, your poems were very good.
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RogueHEROsaysBEDWARD
Stopping At A Casino With Alice
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Number of posts : 3498
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Mon Nov 10, 2008 9:50 pm

Ooo creepy!!!

I liked them. Good job!

Alright so in a thread on facebook me and my friend started a game. At first I was just writing poems on the spot that rhymed, but then he started giving me prompts and I had to make up a poem about it as quick as I could... So I think we should start that here! I'll post some of the ones I wrote already, but not at once because there's quite a few of them...

The first one I did was just random...

Withering walks in dissolving twilight
Shadows dance around the firelight
We mingle between the cracked sticks and stones
The silence between us like brittle bone

and so then he gave me this prompt...

"your a docter, and you just got off your first day, it is in new york, around 2 in the morning with a glow in the sky where you can only see 3 stars as if they have been abandoned, like your wife has abandoned you, and how you envy to one day meet your only child"


and I responded with this:

The foil of my misery
In the sky hopefully shines three
Though not alone, they were meant to be
Frighteningly similar to me
Through my red eyes, stunned by surgical silver
In the dawn I can't help but to shiver
I thought I saw him standing there
But to my dismay, I saw only air

Eh. pretty good for under 5 minutes. Anyone else wannna give it a go? Go ahead and try the same prompt.

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Edward_lover_63801
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Wed Nov 12, 2008 9:39 pm

eh, I can't...

Your my Sin
Lips move, but no words are formed.
I live my life for you,
A bloody memory that seems like yesterday.
The bullet caught my arm luckily,
Saving you,
If it would have missed me it would have struck your heart,
I would mourn over your grave,
Tears would splash hitting ground,
But luckily,
The bullet was what I found.
I saved your life,
and somehow you saved mine.
When you walked into my life I was saved,
and now your not walking out.
Atleast I hope that you can cope with me.
Because I love how your lips touch mine,
How your arms fit perfectly around my waist.
How you know exactly what to do,
My life would be a sin without you.
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RogueHEROsaysBEDWARD
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Thu Nov 13, 2008 9:14 pm

Nice! I love the last line.

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Edward_lover_63801
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Sun Nov 16, 2008 6:44 pm

Thanks, here is like a poem. Smile

Do you remember me
When you look at me,
I close my eyes and smile,
I think about how you changed my life,
How it would have gone without you.
Walking down roads,
swinging held hands,
laughter and smiles.
How your eyes could take me miles,
the two of us listening to music play,
you smile at me and I close my eyes
your hands on my shoulders dancing on the gym floor,
Slow songs lead me to smile and remember;
walking down roads,
swinging held hands,
laughter and smiles
Oh, how your eyes could take me miles
Your shaking hand on my shoulder
My eyes open wide,
your sitting there smiling, I hold you in my arms.
You get up to leave,
I pull you back, "stay"
You smile and sit down.
I close my eyes and remember,
Walking down roads,
Swinging Held hands,
Laughter and Smiles,
Oh, how your eyes could take me miles
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RogueHEROsaysBEDWARD
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Sun Nov 23, 2008 12:17 pm

Good job! I really liked the "how your eyes could take me miles" that was a great line. But, I did think you used the word smile too much. Maybe elaborate a little more, like how did they smile? Tenatively? Widely? That might give a little more imagery to the poem.

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Edward_lover_63801
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Wed Nov 26, 2008 5:35 pm

Thanks.
Heres another poem.
no name yet
Shaking her head,
Watching her sigh,
Slowly she faded,
Waiting to die.
The boy just sat there,
His fingers grasped tight,
In her hair,
Pulling with all his might.
She screamed in pain,
He pulled again.
Now she wishes she had some friends.
She couldn't call the police,
For if she did,
More and More pain she would endure.
One day he steps in,
Drunk with all his friends,
Liquior on his breath,
He beats her more
She comes close to the edge of death
His friends say stop but he continues,
To Bash her head against the wall,
Laughing as she falls and screams in pain.
His friends are screaming, "ARE YOU INSANE?!"
He pushes them away,
Brings out a gun,
Pulls the trigger,
Now the deed is done.
She finally got out,
But not alive,
Too bad she didn't survive.
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Edward_lover_63801
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Sun Dec 07, 2008 1:04 pm

First one

He pondered on what to do in this deserted place.
He walked the path,
Kicking up dirt and watching it disappear.
Thats when he saw her sitting there on the grass
He sat next to her.
They met there everyday that year
She always had a pained look on her face
And he always asked her what was wrong,
But she always shook her head
They became friends and even more
Time went by; flew out the door
She knew he loved her and he knew she loved him
One day she said, 'Lets go for a swim'
He nodded his head, kicked off his shoes and pulled his shirt off.
They stepped into the water, She grasped his hand.
He didn't know if he turned away she would disappear.
She was gone.
He called her name,
No answer.
He felt something brush against his leg.
He smiled and reached underwater,
He pulled her up by her hand.
His smile faded when he saw her face.
She drown to death.
He felt stupid.
All those times she looked out onto the water,
She longed to swim,
But she knew she would drown.
His smile was now a huge frown.
He ran out of the water.
Moaning with pain.
His heart was broken.
He thinks he's gone insane.


Another one...

Down by the Tide
Something special about each one.
Carressed lightly under the sun.
Sending off shimmers of light
Like little stars beaming in the night
The Surface breaking,
Shattered peices left on the sand
I pick up a peice; it's light in my hand.
They scurry to shore
The tide is coming in
Watching them wiggle their little, green fins
They all disappear in the sparkling, blue sea
Wonders that wait, for them and not me
I smile lightly and lay in the sand
Thats when a hard, shell touches my hand.
I look down and the little creature still with me
I smiled and pushed it into the sea,
Whispered, "Sorry little Fella, you can't stay with me"
Each is unique in it's own special way.


Last one..

Magical Discovery

She rolled in the patch of clovers
Wishing to see her true self
Blinded by magic
She was living in hell
They kept her a secret
They hid her face
She wasn't a part of the real human race
She woke up,
Her 'skin' beggining to peel
A green mossy color
It was so unreal!
A lump in her back,
Wings spread out
It hurt for a second making her want to shout.
Relief spread through her and she began to breathe
Scents, before she could not smell nor taste
Now everything tasted like waste
Stinging her lungs and throat as she breathes
Her shelter is only the tall, green like trees
She floats as she walks
It hurts when she talks
Call the Kelpie for help
Don't get on their back, you'll never see the light of day again
Herself as a pixie, Her mind gone astray
Will she have to suffer this way, everyday?
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RogueHEROsaysBEDWARD
Stopping At A Casino With Alice
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Sun Dec 07, 2008 3:10 pm

Yay! I really liked the last one a lot. They were all good though.

But some I think feel like they need to be prose rather than a poem, so you could tell more.

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Mrs. Ali Jasper Hale
Jasper's Own Personal Stalker & Co-Admin
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Mon Dec 08, 2008 3:51 pm

I love prose. LOVE it.

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RogueHEROsaysBEDWARD
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Sun Dec 21, 2008 11:58 pm

i figured. twilight is prose.

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Edward_lover_63801
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Mon Jan 05, 2009 7:15 pm

What's prose?
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RogueHEROsaysBEDWARD
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:40 pm

writing that isn't poetry

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Edward_lover_63801
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:42 pm

Ah.
Makes sense
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Edward_lover_63801
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Wed Jan 07, 2009 7:09 pm

Another Poem with no name
Shooting pains go through my thigh.
I'm screaming loud,
"I don't want to die!"
I feel a pain start in my heart
That's when i completly fall apart
My stomach churns angerily
Nerves are working me over the edge.
Fears are spilling out of my head and straight through my mouth.
I plead and plead for it to go away.
But the pain loves me,
It wants to stay.
Pills won't work, they never last
Kill the pain,
I gasped in terror
My eyes saw nothing
It was black
Truth seared through me
I was dead.
I finally got the idea through my head.
Fake tears ran down my cheek.
I cannot speak
I cannot feel
Nothing, anymore is real
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RogueHEROsaysBEDWARD
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Sat Jan 10, 2009 12:27 pm

nice. i really liked the end. good job!

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Edward_lover_63801
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Sun Jan 25, 2009 6:08 pm

Thanks. (:

Heres another.
It's easier with him around
Screaming with anger
Not one loving word
The fights become bad
This is so absurd
You scream at your mom that shes being stupid
You look at your dad and walk away
Tears blur eyes
Hands cover your face
Hoping tomorrow will be better
No place to go
You hate being home
You'd like to leave
But where's there to go?
You turn to him
Bury your face in his chest
Hug him tight
And promise to yourself you'll never let him go
He brushes the hair from your eyes
He claims he loves you and always will
You believe him and repeat him
Meaning every word
You know he'll be there for you
No matter what
You wish he wouldn't have to leave
And he wishes the same as you
His ride pulls into the drive and you kiss goodbye
You cry somemore
Wishing he'll come back
You close the door
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RogueHEROsaysBEDWARD
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Mon Jan 26, 2009 4:02 pm

w00t! good job! my favorite line was "You believe him and repeat him" just because of the rhythm... i don't know it stuck out to me. and the last 3 lines also. mostly the last 2.

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escape_the_fate
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Fri Feb 06, 2009 7:52 pm

yea that was a pretty good poem i suck at writing poetry but i have one that my sister wrote
me and josie want to turn it into a song

Silence builds an awful wreckage of a girl,
it feeds on loneliness and creates a void.
Gray shadows haunt, torment, and tourture.
A young woman is stricken, and destroyed.
There is no sound of laughter, or happiness here.
The little one has thrown in the towel today.
Somber, melancholy moods, decay the soul.
It is futile to hope, dream, and pray.
Emptiness builds a home inside this woman,
this girl, this child, where hollows have bred a
deepening sea of nowhereness consumes and eats
away at every connecting thread.
Confusion feeds live a savage inside her,
leaving nothing considered worthy remains,
destined to walk through life less ordinary,
alone, exiled, different, and disdained.
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escape_the_fate
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Fri Feb 06, 2009 7:53 pm

we are going to make it a bit different then it is now though so it still has some work to be done
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