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edwardrules1
Stopping At A Casino With Alice
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Sat Feb 07, 2009 9:06 pm

that poem is awesome!! the rythm and the overall VIBE are amazing

Can we end this war
It's eating, and eating me
Until I am no more

I'm not fighting
But there's no way for me to remove myself from this conflict
Friends or... or enemies
Have we really come to this?

I need back the rainbows
And butterflies
I need to once again
Make sense of the blue skies

Waring with people
Who I will not fight
Depression pressing down
I wont last the night

But before I go
I want you all to know
I never meant to hurt you
Never meant to lie
And when we were on the phone
And I could hear you were about to cry
Well it killed me inside
And your words still haunt my dreams
They'll never leave me it seems
Of course I'm not blaming this on you
For there is nothing you could do
I just wanted to let you all know
You were my friends
I loved you more than you know
So dont forget me when I'm gone
But please let me go
This is for the best
The world will be fine with out me I know
I'll see you on the other side
If a God hails from up above
And we'll laugh at the times we were all lost
There may not be butterflies but there'll be doves
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RogueHEROsaysBEDWARD
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Mon Feb 09, 2009 6:29 pm

oh man both of those were so good and so sad! i loved the end especially of both. especially the very last lines.

i think i've written some stuff lately but i'm too lazy to find it and type it up on here.

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edwardrules1
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Mon Feb 09, 2009 7:50 pm

yeah, i know how that is...
and thanks for the comments, i appreciate them
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Edward_lover_63801
Debating About the Immortal Soul With Edward
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Mon Feb 09, 2009 9:22 pm

I liked them both
They're great really great. C:

No Name Yet
Your my Sin, and I need no Confession
Your my temptation and I need you now
Smile for Me
Hold me throughout the night
I'm stuck with you in my memories
So stop the thinking now
Take the damn shot
Through the brain,
There is no pain

*Sorry for my Language*
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RogueHEROsaysBEDWARD
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Tue Feb 10, 2009 5:02 pm

haha language was no problem... you said damn... for this one I really liked the first line. the sin and confession referrence was really good.

ok so I got off my fat bootay and dug up some poems I wrote during a free write time in english... they're kinda confusing, but whatever...

Smoke rises in wisps and curls
The paper cracks as it unfurls
And still I tend to sit and wonder
Why our lives were torn asunder
The flash of lightning and ring of thunder
The devils revel amongst their plunder
From underground you were forced to see
And let your tears leak angerly
But take no action

and that's where I ran out of time. I wanted to go on, but it's too late now cuz i lost my train of thought

here's another one, more recent

The air ran liquid over my bare hands
Whipping the wind to my demands
The fall of my chest, the rise of your breast
And the freckles dotting the lands

and that's where I stopped on that one too. I think I'll try to add to it later though.

what do y'all think? tell what you picture when you read them, like what you think they're about.

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Edward_lover_63801
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Tue Feb 10, 2009 11:03 pm

I like the first couple lines of the first one although I liked them both and thanks for commenting about my poem.
by the way I put a different word there but it changed after it so i had to put damn.. Heres another one I had to change

After all the smiling,
Didn't see it coming,
How did I get the damn shunning?
Smile, pretend you didn't hear a thing
Get in the car and your throat starts to hurt
Theres a thing there making you want to cry
But you have to last through the whole car ride
Hold it in until you get home
Go to your room,
Now your alone.
Jump on your bed and release all your sighs
Tears form and now you can cry
So you do and then stop
Theres no need for it
Feeling stupid you want to cry again.
Scream until the whole damn world sings
Didn't want him to know but now if he's reading he will
I just love him so that I didn't want to worry him much
You tell him your alright
Tell him I love you
Thats it for the night

By: Tiffany K Gilman
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Edward_lover_63801
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Wed Feb 11, 2009 6:57 pm

Heres another one

Memories running through your head,
Just the ones you really dread.
You try to put them in the back of your mind
But they keep breaking chains you bound them by
You have no choice but to cry
In the door, through they walk
They see her lying on the floor; dead
She had taken her father's gun to her head
Beside her lay a note stained with blood
Reading her note was hard to do,
For it said:
They wouldn't get out,
Wouldn't go away.
I told them and told them not to stay.
I cried until there were tears no more,
I found dad's gun behind the closet door
My life was over before it began.
They're coming back, alive again.
I must go,
The gun is my future,I'll be your past
I'm sorry to tell you my life didn't last
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RogueHEROsaysBEDWARD
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Thu Feb 12, 2009 9:09 pm

i always love the ends of your poems! and the rhyming here was cool, me like!

but good job! seriously you always have wonderful endings to your poems.

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Edward_lover_63801
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Sun Feb 15, 2009 11:19 am

Thankyou!!! (:
Ahah I have a short one here.

A girl,
Out with her friends
Her drink is laced with LSD
She doesn't know, so she drinks
Changing her life, shes afraid of death.
Her family slowing dying
Under the ground they're food for worms
The idea of it makes her squirm
She never wants to be food for worms,
She starts to feel them underneath her skin
She hurts herself trying to rid them
A white room with empty walls
How did she fall so low?
She doesn't know
That drink, that night, changed her entire life...
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RogueHEROsaysBEDWARD
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Sun Feb 15, 2009 11:58 am

i'm wondering what that one is about...

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Edward_lover_63801
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Mon Feb 23, 2009 7:32 pm

The girl gets a drug put into her drink and then she gets addicted.
Her Grandpa dies and she wonders like what happens to him while he's under the ground like how the worms get to them and stuff. And then her Grandma dies. (I got the idea from a book. I'll tell you what I based it off of) Well one day this girl that really doesn't like her comes in and puts drugs in something she ate while the girl was babysitting and she went crazy. She started thinking of the worms again and she started hurting herself because she felt them under her skin. So her parents thought she was crazy though they knew the girl that put the drugs in her food. So she had to go into an insane asylum
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Edward_lover_63801
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Mon Feb 23, 2009 7:35 pm

Happily Ever After
An infatuation
A strong yearning to be with him
A passionate yet tender devotion
So many emotions for just one person
So many wants for just one girl
So many boys in the entire world
Yet she picks him over all
She fell for him
She wishes never to be picked up from this fall
To be with him all her life
No matter what happens now and then
That would be her happy end

No Name
Laced with memories that scream burn the thing
Not understanding why you feel you need to cry
You watch it slowly burn
Leaving no scent behind
You turn your head he's there
With a confused stare
You shake your head and run
What did she want you to know?
Whos the guy in the note
Is there still hope for us?
Why did she leave our lives
Left us somewhere behind
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Edward_lover_63801
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Wed Feb 25, 2009 7:15 pm

Life this Way

Remember the summers with all the fun?
Remember laying under the sun?
Do you remember how we blocked that truck by laying in the road,
Just trying to get a tan, boy that was one stubborn man
Do you remember the good times?
Running around in bikinis and no shoes
Water soaking us from head to toe
Feet slapping against the ground as we ran carelessly
As the summers past, we grew too
And I became unattached to you
Alot of us went separate ways,
Only four of us were here to stay
Do you remember the time we had that race?
Where I burned my feet on the hot concrete
Do you remember when I broke my arm?
Fell off that fence and didn't cry until my dad said my arm was broke.
Remember when we were carless and free?
Remember laying next to me?
Remember that time we slipp n' slide-d?
When she fell and hit her face on the ground.
After that she laughed and didn't frown
Remember when we were young?
I miss those times alot.
But growing up is fun too.
Not as much but close to it.
More freedom, Less Trust, More love needed
Now remains just three friends, not close enough but no loose ends
Found a guy with a true heart,
Hopefully we'll never be apart
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RogueHEROsaysBEDWARD
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Wed Feb 25, 2009 8:01 pm

Whoa. Do all of your poems have that kind of story behind them? I think that if you have a story so fleshed out like that you should make it shine through! Usually you keep your poems so vague, like it could be any person or any situation, but i think you should start making those kind of plots bleed into them.

and now i eat my words. I wanted more detail, and you gave it to me in the last poem. I think that one's one of your best! I love the 3rd to last line, the part about loose ends.

Great job Very Happy

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Edward_lover_63801
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Thu Feb 26, 2009 8:59 pm

Yeah, I thought you would like it!!!
I based it on my childhood (;
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Edward_lover_63801
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Fri Feb 27, 2009 8:26 pm

Flashbacks
My life flashing before my eyes,
Though I'm not about to die,
I'm seeing the past of us,
What we are and what we were.
Things to me are such a blur,
it's passing me quite fast,
how long are these flashbacks going to last?
I come back to today,
You look at me yet I have nothing to say
I'm grasping your hand really tight.
I think I was squeezing with all my might
I scared you, you thought something was wrong
How come things lately are like a sad song?
I lean into you as you hold me close
I don't know what to think,
I don't know what to do,
I stare into your eyes searching for the answers;
There are none.
Just worry, your frightened, yet you care.
My tears are leaving lines on my cheeks,
You start to cry,
We both were weak.
We sit there crying for different reasons,
I believe.
I get up, ready to take my leave.
You grab my hand and ask whats wrong.
The dream last night pops into my head,
The world was ending,
I felt so dead.
I don't know why but you were there.
Burying your face into my hair
You murmered you love me,
then I awoke.
The flashback over once again,
there you were holding my hand.
I sat down next to you and cried,
Said I've been having a hard time and I need you here
He promised, "Always"
Now, there was no fear.
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sweetblood
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Fri Feb 27, 2009 8:48 pm

Very nice! Smile


Family

I've never minded
a house
with chipped paint
or wooden boards
that creak
I don't mind
how the house seems
to shake
when the winds blows
even though you know
it's just as sturdy
and just as stable
as the big tree
in the front yard
with roots that run deep
keeping it from falling apart
falling to rubble


Would you rather...

I would rather look
at you
than to look
though glass
I would rather be blinded
by the sun
than to be shielded
from its warmth
I would rather die
than to be alive
and have not lived
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RogueHEROsaysBEDWARD
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Sat Feb 28, 2009 2:00 pm

nice! i really liked the henry thoreau-esque 2nd poem. have you read Walden by any chance? The 1st one about your family as a house was really good too.

and above that nice job! i liked how you described the dream she had the night before.

all 3 of those poems were great, folks.

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Edward_lover_63801
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Thu Mar 12, 2009 9:32 pm

I look at you,
You look at me,
Grab my hand and run,
Screaming at the top of our lungs,
"Forever and Ever!" I sing
"I'll love you for eternity" he screams
Not much more to say,
That says it all.
She trips, he catches her before she can fall.
"i love you" she whispers.
For the end you'll wait and see,
For what happens and whats meant to be
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Edward_lover_63801
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Sat Mar 14, 2009 8:18 pm

Take My Life
Walking down the road,
Feeling so Alone,
Your gone and I don't know how to feel
It begins to rain,
Washing away no pain
Falling to my knees the wet ground soaking my jeans
I don't seem to care,
The wind is tossing my hair carelessly around my face
Lights coming quickly down the road,
Growing closer as seconds go by,
Hot tears stream down my face,
I know I'm going to die.
I don't want to move,
The pain of when you left, still searing through me
The car is swerving, kids that are drunk and drive
I know I have no chance to survive
I don't even try to get up, there's no reason to live
Without your love I'm nothing
Without your love I'm dead
Then it hits me, and it hits me hard
My life is like glass, in broken shards
Screams from around me, your voice i hear
You were the driver
Your hands on my face, telling me to live
I say "No one will take your place"
I fade into nothing and die feeling alone
Were you on your way to get me?
Or leave me stuck at home?
So I guess it doesn't matter,
I wish I could've seen your face
Before you took my life
How do you feel now?
Now that you know you made me die
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RogueHEROsaysBEDWARD
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Sun Mar 15, 2009 7:42 pm

wow that was depressing... but good job.

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Edward_lover_63801
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Sun Mar 15, 2009 9:10 pm

Thankyou. (: I was depressed at the time I wrote it
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RogueHEROsaysBEDWARD
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Thu Mar 19, 2009 10:27 pm

generally great poetry for people comes out in dark moods. for me, i just have to be in a writing mood, but it works like that for most people.

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Edward_lover_63801
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Wed Mar 25, 2009 6:36 pm

Yeah it works both ways for me
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edwardrules1
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PostSubject: Re: poems and whatever   Fri Apr 17, 2009 11:20 pm

Hold me down
When all i wish to do is fly away
When everyone else leaves
Be the only one that stays

Dont let me do anything
Dont support me in whatever i choose
Make me think when thinking is right
And be spontainious when fun pays it's dues

Make me work for what i want
Don't let me run from my fears
Laugh, cry, smile
Make me act older than my years

Yell at me
Fight with me
Cuss at me
Say you hate me

Then the next day
Come back and say
'I love you
'I want you to stay'

You see
I dont want you to be an immovable pillar
Just be THERE for me



This one's dedicated to my older bro who, in the last few years, has become more like my father. I want him to know that he doesnt always have to be the strong one, i can hold my own sometimes.
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