Things Alice Would Never Say

488. Pikachu, I choose you!

489. [Singing] Oops I did it again. I played with your heart. I got lost in the game, oh baby, baby!

490. You know, I don't think I'm in the mood for shopping right now...

491.I WISH I WAS ROSALIE!!!

492. (to esme about jasper) he just followed me home, mom, he just followed me home!

493.ummm i'm a pink pony!!!

"Jasper i never want to see NETSPEAK SUCKS again!!!"

"
Jasper i never want to see you again!!!"

494. "Jasper I never want to see you again!!!"

495. I'm out of my mind, feel free to leave a message.

?
495. Emmett is my "Role-playing" Buddy!

*shudder* .....

496. Go away little girl! I'm....um....*mumbles* how should I say this so she will understand...*yells* I'm playing with daddy!

HAHAHA!! Oh God..

497. *stands on top of mall* I am Alice the Almighty, the Shopping Goddess. Shoppers bow down before me!

teehee!

498. *twists fake mustache and doodles on clipboard* Yes, and how does that make you feel?

LOL!

499. (whining to Esme) Mommy, I don't want a Porsche! I want a pink tricycle!

(Anne, I loved your Pokemon one )

Haha cute.

Wow 500. (at a club with Rosalie and Bella, trying to get Bella to dance with her and Rosalie): Come on Bella! Shake what your mama gave ya!

poor bella...

501. (after bella tells her to turn the music down) my dear, do not insult my delicate musicality by requesting that I reduce the volume of this symphony.

huh?

502. *while window shopping* I don't like that one, or that one, or that one. let's face it, nothing appeals to my fashion taste Bella.

NOOOoooo THE WORLD IS ENDING!!!!!!!!!!

503. Bella I finally figured out why they use letters to define bra sizes. Want to know what they are? Okay I'll tell you.

A- Almost boobs
B- Barely there
C- Can't complain
D- Dang!
DD- Double dang!
E- Enormous
F- Fake
G- Get a reduction
H- Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!

LOL

That is freakin HILARIOUS!!!

504. Now, let me see your hand. I will now read your boob line. *whispers* it tells you what bra size you will have when your fully grown. Hmm..wow...you're going to be a freakin mini-Dolly Parton! everything small, and then BA-BOOM! your freakish Z-54 boobs!

Eeeek.... lol

*falls off chair laughing* Lauren, that was HILARIOUS!!!!! I literally can't stop laughing. Where did you get that from?

505. Dang, maybe if I'd stayed human I would've had a little more growth... in places...

i agree, that was incredibly hilarious, lauren!

506. Rosalie's taller than I am, prettier than I am, bigger up there than I am, has blond hair, has an amazing husband, is older than I am, and has been a vampire longer. Only stubbornness stops me from having a SERIOUS inferiority complex.

Thank you girls, glad you liked it. Sam, to answer your question-an email.
-I loved the ones you all did as well. They also made me laugh
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507. *Bella pulls out a bag of cotton balls and a ball of string from a shopping bag*

Bella: Alice, what is this? I told you to get some tampons.

Alice: Yes, well the other day I told YOU to get me a carton of cigarettes for the prank. Instead you bring me a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers because it was soooo much cheaper. So, I figured if I had to roll my own...so do you.