Things Emmett Cullen is not allowed to do

now THAT would be scary!

And hilarious

93. Emmett is not allowed to run around the mall with Jasper wearing spandex and a blanket draped around his shoulders saying " I am Batman! Come Robin to the batcave!"

lol yeah.

94. Emmett is not allowed to Call Debussy 'elevator music' in front of Edward

I could see Edward hitting him upside the head for that one. haha

95. Emmett is not allowed to leave a trail of orange on the floor leading to the restrooms because it resembles a certain something.

ew! that would be disgusting-lol
96. Emmet Cullen is not allowed to tell Edward his CDs are crummy-all 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 of them.

97. Emmet is not allowed to tell Rosalie she kind of resembles an ape in appearance.

98. Emmett is not allowed to hunt down all the teddy bears in the world, rip them into shreds, and claim he thought they were miniature grizzlies.
P.S. the kiddies would kill him-lol

Haha nice.

99. Emmett is not allowed to walk around in a crowd, pretend like he's about to cry and ask people if they've seen his mommy.

haha lol

100. Emmett Cullen is not allowed to push Jacob out of an air plane just for the heck of it.

I like that one.

101. Emmett is not allowed to go to the makeup department, spray himself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with a girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "Hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way.

no coment. lol scaring for freakin life! lol

102. Emmett Cullen is not allowed to watch Nascar Racing.

103. Emmett is not allowed to stuff a load of tampons and pads in Jasper's locker.

HAHA!!

104. Emmett Cullen is not allowed to stuff tampons up a little kid's nose when he gets a nose bleed at the park.

LOL! Too funny!

105. Emmett is not allowed to fill a water balloon up with chocolate pudding, go hide by the boy's bathroom and when a guy walks out throw it at his butt to make it look like he...well you know

nice!
106. Emmett Cullen is not allowed to paint with his butt just because he claims he needs the money

nice

107. Emmett Cullen is not allowed to force Carlisle to wear a tight spandex Disco Suit.

WOW, that would be just slightly disturbing!!! just a little......
OKAY MAJOR DISTURBANCES! I AM SCARRED FOR LIFE! lol

108. Emmett Cullen is not allowed to dress up as a clown and say "I like my children medium RARE!!!"

that is scaring for life!

109. Emmett Cullen is not allowed to steal all of Bella's bras.

thanks, that was...disturbing.
110. Emmet Cullen is not allowed to tell Rosalie that the bear that mangled him was more attractive than her.

111. he can't fall in love with edward

Absolutely not!
112. Emmett Cullen is not allowed to beat Edward up and run away with Bella.
PS Edward and Jacob would unite to kill him-something that would NEVER happen in real life.
PPS oh and I forgot, Mike, Tylor, Eric, and all the rest of the human boys too!

113. Refer to Jasper's empathy as 'Jasper's feminine problem'

Emmett Cullen is not allowed to run away with Carlisle.

115. Emmett is not allowed to get breast implants so that he'll have a substitute to play with when Rosalie isn't around.

........ew

116. Claim to have had wild and crazy sex with Edward's car