Things Alice Cullen is not allowed to do...

Ian, try not to make stuff like "NETSPEAK SUCKS" come up. type out the words and make sure you don't do what you did before. If you do, you will die. I know where you live, (he's my cousin people, don't freak) and I can and will kick you @$$!! (haha)

Ah, I see. Well it looks like you've got him under control, Carmen

389. Alice is not allowed to send around creepy stalker messages to unsuspecting Forks High School students just to get them all paranoid so that she can laugh at them.

That would be hilarious.

390. Alice is not allowed to dress Jasper up as the March Hare, Emmett up as the Mad Hatter and Edward as the Dormouse and make them have a tea party with her.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

391. Alice Cullen is not allowed to become a spokesperson for adult diapers

Haha adult diapers..

392. Alice is not allowed to dress up in a scream costume, and phone Jessica using one of those voice changers while running back and forth infront of her windows.

haha, that would be funny.

393. Alice Cullen is not allowed to go to marriage counsiling because she is suspicious of Jasper having an affair with random Forks people. (not just girls, all people)

Ooh, that wouldn't be good..

394. Alice is not allowed to make Jasper push her around in a shopping cart while she navigates while they're shopping at the mall.

haha, inspiration! *ding* (that was the light bulb in me head going off!)

395. Alice Cullen is not allowed to sit on the merry-go-round at the park, making Emmett, Jasper, and Edward all three push her as fast as they can, until it flys off the little thiny underneath it, thus causing it to fly in the air like a flying saucer!

HAHA! Now if she was dressed in an alien costume the look would be complete

396. Alice is not allowed to dress up like ET, go down to Roswell New Mexico and walk around saying ET phone home.

HAHA that would be... um, interesting I like your scream one you did up there, Lauren. A while back I was watching a spoof somebody did on that, and it was hilarious.

397. Alice is not allowed to join an army of orcs and blunder around with them, snorting and huffing, while they contemplate eating their own dung.

Thank you
Haha nice one.

398. Alice is not allowed to go into the fitting room at the mall and yell really loud "We're out of toilet paper in here!"

HAHAHA that one's excellent!!

399. Alice Cullen is not allowed to go on a French-speaking-only regime and run down the street dancing the Can Can with a curly mustache.

Haha I can't even picture that without laughing.

400. Alice is not allowed to hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through whisper "Pick me, Pick me!!!!"

Lol, that would be funny. My laughing just interrupted my humming...

401. Alice Cullen is not allowed to start up a Fat Fighters group and become like Marjory from Little Britain, then tell the group with ravenous eyes: "Today we're going to talk about craaaavings."

(Sorry if you haven't heard of Little Britain. It's hilarious, and the Fat Fighters are the best part of it )

Haha nice

402. Alice is not allowed to dress all in black, dress Rosalie and Bella all in black, and sneak around the mall humming the Mission Impossible theme song.

LOL! I can just picture that...

403. Alice Cullen is not allowed to watch National Treasure, then go and steal the Declaration of Independence, and when she gets caught, protest: "Nicolas Cage made me do it!"

Haha nice one!

404. Alice is not allowed to go all psycho and jump on Jessica's back and start beating her in the head with her purse until she passes out.

Somebody reminds me a bit of Mrs Crumplebottom there... (sorry, it's just a crazy granny lady on the Sims 2 )

405. Alice Cullen is not allowed to hijack a FOB concert and start yelling into the microphone about "equality for vampires."

That would be interesting

406. Alice is not allowed to assume the fetal position and scream "No! No! It's not those voices again." when an annoucement comes over the loud speaker in a store.

HAHA, that would be hilarious! She'd be sent straight back to the asylum...

407. Alice Cullen is not allowed to go around the streets of Forks whispering to everybody she sees, with an alarmed expression on her face, "They're coming!"

Haha, I wonder what would happen if she did that..

408. Alice is not all to set up a mini-war in the toy aisle at Toys R US between G.I Joe and Ken to see who gets Barbie.

haha, its like Jake and Edward fighting over who gets Bella. lol

409. Alice Cullen is not allowed to put on a butt load of make up and dress gothic for a day.

I bet she would look good as a Goth though.

410. Alice is not allowed to run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing her legs together and practically yell at him " I need some tampons!!"

Haha I should hope not...

411. Alice Cullen is not allowed to pull Mike out of class to tell him (keeping a straight face) that his grandmother just died, and then laugh and take a picture of the expression on his face.

That's just cruel...
I love it.

412. Alice is not allowed to tie Bella to a chair so that she can't get away and then have a male stripper give her a lap dance.