Corrupt-a-wish

Granted, but you can't sleep during the day now there is no night because the day takes up night. NO MORE SLEEP FOR YOU!!!!
ppoorr thing you die of exhaustion


I wish my jaw didn't hurt

It falls off. OOOPPPPSSS

I wish i could see the Midnight premiere of Twilight

It turns out to suck.

I wish he got the job

Granted, but not the job you were thinking of... *cough*

I wish I could pause time and sleep

Granted, BUT,,,, someone pushes the slow-motion-button, now you can't find out how to get things out of slow motion.
aha


I wish I would l could have a nice day.

You do, but you have to do it naked. (I can't take credit, my friend told me to put that. ^^)


I wish I had some Ramen.

It's all moldy and old.

I wish I didn't have to leave my friends.

You don't, but they all get really sick and sneeze in your face, and you get sick too.

I wish I didn't have to do a reasearch project.

You don't; you have to write a 300 paged book.

I wish I wasn't so bummed.

Your not, you can't be anything but happy now

I wish I could go bowling tomorrow

You can, but in order to do so you have to murder your best friend.

I wish Drumline wasn't canceled.

Drumline? cancelled? what? Not sure what you mean...

but ok. Granted, but everything else is.

I wish people weren't so stupid

They are the smartest people ever and now your the stupid one.

I wish I had money

You now have so much money somebody murders you for your fortune.

I wish I could fly.

You can, but not well, and you crash and die.

I wish I could see my best friend outside of church. She lives so far away...

She moves closer and now shes driving you towards suicide

I wish I didn't feel like I'm failing him

Umm....You don't but it happens anyway....Sorry....couldn't think of anything better.

I wish I could be a vampire

You end up going haywire and kill everyone you love.

I wish I knew what's going on.

Granted, but you find out that it's something really bad

I wish my friend's parents were less strict

They are but now she's out of control.

I wish I wasn't as scattered brain as I am right now.

You don't but your brain explodes from all the non-scattered-ness...Ewww

I wish I was Alice Cullen

Granted, but nobody else is a vampire so you're the only one and it kinda sucks.

I wish I had something to do

You jump off a bridge. Smart.

I wish Jasper was MIIINE

He is, but then he realizes that I'm so much cooler.

I wish I could stop biting my nails.

(Not )

You end up biting all your fingers off. Ouch.

I wish my phone didn't suck