Corrupt-a-wish

Instead it turns into my phone, which does more than sucks. It fails.

I wish the DVD would come out in time for Christmas.

It does but they sell out too quick and you don't get any.

I wish I could go see the movie again right now...

You do but the theater is set on fire and the screen melts making it impossible to see.

I wish I could play killer baseball like the Cullens.

Granted, but by killer baseball, i mean it kills you.

I wish I could chew.

You can, but you chew so violently that you chew your tongue off. Ouch.

I wish that I had Captain Crunch.

The captian kidnaps you. DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN

I wish I wasn't so bored all the time...

You are no longer bored because you are on the run from the law.

I wish I were allowed back on the computer (i've been sneaking on while my parents are in the other room.

You are but then your computer explodes killing all the neighborhood squirrels. NOOOOO

I wish I could talk to HIM

Granted, but he can't talk back.

I wish allergies didn't exsist

Everything is covered in plastic...dun Dun DUUUN

I wish my hair would straigten itself

It does, and so you have nothing to do with your mornings.

I wish I wasn't hungry.

You aren;t but you're full with your best friend. AHH run away!!

You didn't make a wish!
*pretends to be santa* What do you want for Christmas, little one? (i know, i know, you're older than me!)

Holy crap! It's Santa! I wish my English teacher would shut the heck up and retire already!

He retires...and dies. And haunts you the rest of your life. dun Dun DUUUN

Oops... I wish I didn't have to take finals.

You don't...but you fail because of it.

I wish that I could get my hands on this video game...

you can but you'll get it confiscated cuz its too fun

i wish i had more money to buy my friends gifts

You get them all bad presents.

I wish that I had more cookies.

You get more cookies, but you eat too many and get sick.

I wish Ali would answer her dang phone!

Granted, but she has to hang up again right away

I wish that I wasn't cold

You are no longer cold, but instead are on fire! Stop, drop, and roll!

I wish my mother and grandmother would stop yelling at me!

Granted, but now you're really mad and yelling at them.

I wish that I didn't have to wait so long all the time

Instead everything happens really fast and you have nothing to do, so you just waste away.

I wish Vampirelamb would clean her room so we could talk on the phone....(hinthinthint)

(We've been friends long enough I think you can call me Al, sweety.) I clean my room but my phone gets broken in the process (like last time, lol).

I wish that I would go into labor already so I can fit back into my jeans!

granted, but now they're out of style

i wish that certain people weren't so busy all the time