Corrupt-a-wish

Granted, but now you are!

I wish he would leave me the f#*k alone. >=[

Now everyone in the world completely and totally ignores you.

I wish I would see ANY of my friends on vacation... It sucks because another friend is going to the same place as I am, but she's coming the same day I'm leaving! Grrr...

Granted, but they never leave you alone.

I wish there was no school tomorrow.

No school tomorrow, but you are kidnapped and held for ransom by random evil people.

I wish I had weapons in my room. (For self-defense only, I swear!)

Granted, but they break easily!

I wish I was smarter.

You are now so smart, you know too much, and are promptly assassinated. Bye bye.

I wish it were Monday (I'm only slightly crazy. I miss my friends, and none of them have emailed me during break!)

Granted, but it is then Monday forever...

I wish it was Saturday forever!

You now have school on Saturdays.

I wish I had a cookie.

Granted, but it gives you food poisoning!

I wish the teachers would stop giving us homework.

They do and so you all have nothing to do with your time and you become drug addicts.

I wish my dog would stop jumping the fence and running around the neighborhood.

Granted, but it can't jump anymore.

I wish this thread wasn't dead

Granted, but it comes alive as a Frankenstein monster and terrorizes the populace.

I wish my imaginary friends were real (yes, I do have real friends, but the more the merrier!)

Granted, but they kill you. *gasp*

I wish it was July already.

Granted, but it will be July, forever...

I wish I can get at least a B in biology this term!

Granted but you fail all your other classes.

I wish I was in Cali already.

You are, but then a nuclear bomb drops and destroys it and you. Bummer.

I wish he would email me... I gave him my email today in his yearbook! Ack!

Granted, but he tries to sell you week old gym socks.

I wish he would call me already!

Granted, be he never wants to hang up!

I wish this other site would work properly! Argh!!

Granted, but it gives your computer a virus

I wish I could drive

Granted, but you get caught speeding and loose your license.

I wish vampires were real!

Granted but they take over the world. . .Actually that doesn't sound too bad...

I wish Jasper was mine!

Granted but he dies by another vampire

I wish i had that ringpop already!

Granted but it tastes like crap

I wish I was 16 already!

Granted, but everyone still treats you like you're 15.

I wish it would rain all day.

Granted but it rains all day the next day, canceling all your plans

I wish that it was Saturday